1. If you are making a teff rendition of Bittman’s Easy Whole-Grain Flatbread, and you follow his instruction to preheat the pan in the hot oven, but you lack a 12” ovenproof skillet or pizza pan, so you substitute a 10” vintage glass pie plate that you have treasured for years, and you pour the room-temp teff batter into the hot glass dish, you will cause an explosion and it will take you half an hour to get all the teff goo out of the burners, your hair, etc.

No injuries (thank goodness) except for the pie plate (R.I.P.)

2. If you’re shivering and complaining about how cold it is, drinking a ginger ale straight from the cooler case won’t help.