Whoa. So this explains the horrible bitter taste I’ve had in my mouth for the past two days. I hardly ever encounter pine nuts, but while I was out of town this weekend I ordered a salad that came covered in them, and I was hungry, so I ate them.

The symptoms began late Monday night, and until Google saved me I was convinced I had something terrible, like a hernia, GERD, tooth decay, a burgeoning fetus, or a fridge full of suddenly-rotten or pesticide-covered food.

But no, it’s just pine mouth, which is still pretty terrible in that everything I eat or drink (including coffee) tastes bitter and leaves a sour metallic tang on my tongue. This could last for over a week, according to the internet, which ought to know.