m a s t i c a t e

hey lactard, it's your birthday

A recent baking endeavor for a friend and fellow lactard: vanilla birthday cake with lemon filling, vanilla frosting, and cats.

Part one: Lemon curd filling.

• 1/2 c. fresh lemon juice (this took about 4 huge lemons)
• 1/2 c. + 2 TBS granulated sugar
• 2 eggs
• 8 TBS Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks
  

Cut your Earth Balance into small cubes and let it come to room temperature. Whisk together lemon juice, sugar, and eggs in saucepan over moderate heat. Add EB cubes and whisk constantly as the curd thickens — it’ll take about 10 minutes to get thick and glossy. Remove from heat; if you want to be fancy, pour it through a sieve into a bowl. Or just pour it straight into the bowl. Either way, press some plastic wrap on the surface, cover, and chill. Note: When I did this I forgot the extra 2 TBS sugar and it was a bit puckery. You might want to remember the extra 2 TBS sugar.

Can be made a few days in advance.

Part two: Classic white cake.

• 2¼ c. cake flour
• 4 tsp. baking powder
• pinch salt
• 13 TBS Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks
• 1½ c. granulated sugar
• 1 c. plain (not unsweetened) almond milk
• 6 large egg whites, room temp.
• 2 tsp. vanilla

Before you start, make sure the Earth Balance, almond milk, and egg whites are at room temperature. Preheat oven to 350; grease and flour a 9x13” cake pan, or use parchment, whatever’s your preferred method. You could probably also use two 9” round pans.

Whisk together flour, baking powder, and pinch salt in a medium bowl

Whisk together almond milk, egg whites, and vanilla in another medium bowl or measuring cup with a spout that pours.

In a large bowl, use a mixer to cream EB and sugar until they’re very light, about 4 minutes. Beat in 1/3 of the dry ingredients, then 1/2 the milk mixture. Repeat, then end with the final 1/3 of the dry ingredients. Beat well for a final minute to lighten the batter.

Pour into prepared pan and bake until a toothpick tests clean — it took about 40 minutes in my oven, but check after 35 minutes or so. Cool in pan for 5 minutes then invert onto rack to finish cooling completely.

Hot tip: Don’t try to substitute regular flour, it’ll get bready. And don’t be tempted to add more than a pinch of salt. The EB sticks come already salted; as far as I know there’s no direct non-dairy substitute for unsalted butter.

Part three. Vanilla frosting.

• 1 c. tub shortening
• 5 c. confectioner’s sugar, sifted
• 1 1/4 tsp. clear vanilla
• 2-3 TBS plain (not unsweetened) almond milk

Beat shortening in a large bowl with a mixer until it’s fluffy. Gradually beat in the confectioner’s sugar, vanilla, and almond milk. You may want to add more almond milk or sugar depending on how stiff/creamy you want the frosting to be, and you can scale the frosting recipe up or down depending on how much you need.

Hot tip: If you’re going to be making decorations later, set aside part of the frosting before you add too much milk. Liquid food coloring will make it runnier. I used these India Tree Natural Decorating Colors because the birthday girl was allergic to artificial coloring — they’re pricier than the fake stuff, but work just as well.

Part four: Assemble it.

• Slice the cooled cake in half horizontally (if using a 9x13” pan), or don’t (if using two 9” pans).
• Spread lemon curd on the bottom layer. Careful, don’t spread it all the way to the edges or it’ll splodge out when you replace the top layer.
• Frost top and sides of cake with white frosting. Let it chill in the fridge while you prep the decorating frosting.
• Mix your food coloring with reserved, stiffer-than-the-rest white frosting. Pipe decorations with a pastry bag, or however you do.
• Garnish with plastic cats (optional).
• Store in fridge if you want — the frosting will become firm — but leave it out for an hour or so before slicing.

Part five: Watch as the birthday girl entertains friends and family by singing “99 Luftballoons” in German. (Aubin Thomas feat. her nephew.)

lazy lunch in nyc

At Khyber Pass, because it was there.

For me: Fesenjan, side of stewed pumpkin, Turkish coffee

For my companion: Large platter of meat mantoo, pot of shir-chay (tea with milk, sugar and cardamom)

Shared: A basket of that Afghan flatbread that’s pliable and delicious when warm, crunchy and flavorless when it cools. A conundrum during lazy lunching, but we managed.

supper concept

Lentil-pumpkin curry with cranberry chutney.

So crazy, it just might work.

two hot tips

1. If you are making a teff rendition of Bittman’s Easy Whole-Grain Flatbread, and you follow his instruction to preheat the pan in the hot oven, but you lack a 12” ovenproof skillet or pizza pan, so you substitute a 10” vintage glass pie plate that you have treasured for years, and you pour the room-temp teff batter into the hot glass dish, you will cause an explosion and it will take you half an hour to get all the teff goo out of the burners, your hair, etc.

No injuries (thank goodness) except for the pie plate (R.I.P.)

2. If you’re shivering and complaining about how cold it is, drinking a ginger ale straight from the cooler case won’t help.

where is the ground. here is the ground.

Sometimes the best thing to eat is a slice of bread. Untoasted, unadorned, lacking nothing.

an army marches on its stomach

Things volunteers, donors, friends and families brought to No on 1 headquarters in the final week of the campaign:

• A basket of oranges
• A couple bags of local Maine apples
• A couple bunches of bananas
• Homemade peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, individually wrapped
• A separate tub of Skippy peanut butter and a plastic knife
• A jar of homemade raspberry preserves
• A few extra loaves of bread
• Jumbo boxes of Emergen-C
• Rafts of bottled water
• Bottomless buckets of Halloween candy
• Tortilla chips
• Pretzels
• Chocolate Chex mix
• Dozens of pizzas every night
• Mini tuna salad rolls
• M&M cookies
• A crockpot of chili
• A tub of roasted peanuts
• Generic granola bars
• Boxes of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and doughnuts
• Bakery muffins
• Delicious mini pumpkin-cranberry muffins
• A few precious platters of raw fruit and vegetables
• Cough drops, several bags